Did Sanderson fake his own death?

We left with our boy Chris balking at the rose ceremony because the emotional pressure seemed too much. Sitting here I think he could let 5 go without blinking but the producers know they need conflict and drama even if silly versions of it so let’s wait Chris out.

 Earlier our murderer Kelsey feigned some sort of panic attack requiring Chris to come to the rescue. Kelsey had revealed her tragic past (which graduated to “amazing story” later) to Chris peaking with the news that her 28 year old hubby “Sanderson” dropped dead walking to work.

At this point, I have severe doubts about Sanderson’s existence but if he did exist and die then I am totally convinced this guy faked his own death after a month with Kelsey and is hiding somewhere in a remote part of the world under disguise and an assumed name.  I am leaning to the Aleutian Islands as Sandy would know the bachelor helicopter is not likely to bring the murderer to his hut.

Finally, our farmer finally summons the courage to continue with the rose ceremony and tosses out Mackenzie and Samantha. We hear from the girls that Samantha, about whom we have seen and heard nothing, harbors some dark tragedy which might be as painful as being a NY Jets fan all her life. Mackenzie swears she won’t be able to handle this rejection but she is 21.If this is the worst thing that happens in her life she will be blessed.

 But Kelsey the murderer survives he cut and gives the girls a condescending smile as if she has the magic formula and is keeping it to herself.  She offers to the girls that this comes naturally to her since she is so smart.  The last people I recall announcing how smart they were ran Enron and now are guests of the state wearing orange every day.

Later in an interview with Chris Harrison, Chris calls her out on this saying the girls thought she was condescending, faked a panic attack and claimed she was smarter than anyone in the house.  Kelsey responds by saying she believed a flippant comment was misconstrued and she would hope to ameliorate the situation. Well I was pleased to hear Kelsey’s expanding vocabulary as ameliorate is a word we used in our vocabulary rides home from swim practice. Of course Kelly and Stephie were in 7^th grade at the time.

Anyway, our farmer takes the ladies to South Dakota where we meet some crazy musicians Bob and Rich. One wears short hair and a cowboy hat. He looks like he tried out for the show Texas Rangers. The other guy looks like a cross between the Cat in the Hat and the guy in Les Miserable’s singing Master of the House.

Anyway, our boy gets to sing (I can only hope he does a better job a farming and George Michael will not be losing sleep over a new pop star emerging  )

After we cringe through that I wonder if Whitney is thinking of doing this song as a mime. I have to concede though I have come around on Whitney even though her voice needs some help. She is the most mature of the lot and doesn’t predicate everything with an OMG! Nor uses “like" every third word. Carly on her one on one used “like” 27 times (yes, I was counting and she didn’t have that much air time). But Carly is the clear master of this singing/ songwriter exercise as it fits right into her wheelhouse. But Chris is smitten with our city chick Britt. Britt seems to get Chris’s full attention and he whisks her off to a Bob and Rich concert in Deadwood ND.  The concert people are ready for Chris and Britt. Soon after entering, up on the stage they go where Britt is having the time of her life.  Afterwards, Chris awards Britt the group rose and walks back to where the other girls have been sitting around for hours wondering where Chris and Britt went on the “group” date. Carly is clearly disappointed to see the rose go to Britt figuring her best shot to win anything would be in the singing category. But Chris is smitten and glows as he gives Britt the rose. Meanwhile the girls are angry at this slight and offer grimaces that “regular” boyfriends would shudder to see. Chris leaves Britt to sit defensively with the girls trying to minimize the damage while at the same time reveling in a great night for her. Chris can’t leave fast enough but let’s Britt take one for the team.

The girls all see Britt as a front runner but next we get to see Chris on a 2 on 1 with Ashley and Kelsey the murderer. I never thought I would find myself on TEAM ASHLEY but here I am rooting for her to survive at the expense of the crazy murderer. But you are who you are and in short order Ashley melts down and Chris knows he has to let her go. She is clearly high maintenance and we all recognize she would need a whole team of farmers to keep her happy. Ashley frantically tries to give up Kelsey and Britt and anyone else she can to get some footing on the rocky slope but it isn’t going to work. I think she may have blamed the guy on the grassy knoll as a final salvo but Chris just had enough and strolled off to deal with the murderer.

  We are not shedding any tears at the loss of Ashley as we await more of Kelsey.

Then Chris has a chat with Kelsey. After some hemming and hawing, as farmers are wont to hem and haw, Chris says he and Kelsey are on different wavelengths. We think Kelsey is on a different planet but at least our farmer is making a good choice her especially if he wants to live another week or two. Out she goes and in one of the best scenes in the history of the Bachelor we are treated to a peek at the girls as they learn first that Ashley has put on the skates and then again when Kelsey’s bags are taken out. The girls respond to Kelsey’s exit with an impromptu celebration complete with champagne. All in all, it is probably not a great sign if your housemates all shriek for joy and rush to pour the champagne when you are gone. 

Megan survived all this I think because no one bothered to ask her where North Dakota is but first thing the next week Chris took her aside and said he was not feeling it and  sent her home. Hopefully the producers arranged the transportation for her. So now Chris has the pool down to six and we are getting a feeling for each candidate. The next trip is to Iowa and we shall see how the lassies respond to being in a tiny place in Northeast Ohio. I have noticed a small new evolution. Lebron James refers to his hometown in Northeast Ohio and now we learn the farm is in Northeast Ohio as if the finite geographical qualification will make this more defined for us. Well I am now writing from Southwest Ct if that helps.

Britt is an LA city girl and although she is seeded at the top in the attraction category by even the girls she is clearly going to struggle in a place where the top attraction is walking into some old guy’s house for a coffee.  Not enough action? How about no action whatsoever. No movies, no shopping, no people and a lot of closed businesses. The place looks like a set for an Armageddon movie where everyone has been wiped out by an alien disease and we don’t even have Will Smith to fight the Aliens. Britt knows she is not going to be spending any more time here than she has to.  We know too. The only one who doesn’t though is Chris.

 None of the girls would plan to move there on their own and we can see they are worried. By this time, our girls have grown to like being celebrities and the center of attention. But now they need to fake enthusiasm because Chris has set the bar very high for candidates as this is where he plans to be.

Carly seems to genuinely think she could handle this because she is ready to give up singing on cruise ships. But when Britt gets a closer look at the “town” she looks like she has been told she has contracted a nasty strain of Ebola. But she tells Chris she finds the place “charming” which I interpret as LA speak for “what a dump”.

Chris has another tough call with 2 slated to leave after this trip and hears from Carly who is now desperate to stay alive while she privately worries she is at the bottom of the leader board.  Carly gives up Britt as not being quite sincere about loving Iowa. Carly is adopting a very risky strategy to give up other chicks but she feels she has to try anything. Chris for his part seems interested in this line of discussion as he wonders if he sees one Britt while “the world” sees another. This is a recurring bachelor theme the producers seem to trot out every season  but I have also drawn the conclusion that the girls who the other girls like is probably very likable and the girls despised are likely best left alone. Britt would definitely fall in the high maintenance category and if she were in Iowa I give three weeks at the latest before she goes crazy.

Chris sees the light and says goodbye to Britt and Curly gets caught in the riptide and we get down to four and a hometown set of trips.

 Chris take a trip to Louisiana where Becca’s family seems stunned by the fact she might be dating somebody. Chris does not say it but we know she will not be the winner or the next bachelorette as she is too young and inexperienced. The real race in this contest is to be the next bachelorette and I don’t have a top candidate yet. Whitney displays some humor on her trip and she is the most engaging of the girls and could really be a good fit for our boy. Jade takes Chris to a house in Nebraska where Jade gives Chris a “nude awakening” and drops the little tidbit that she posed for Playboy. Let’s see a young beautiful girl from Nebraska moves to LA to be a model and ends up meeting an “agent” that with his pals from Kazakhstan convince her she has a career in movies. That story has never been told before and I think it gives Chris the idea that Jade can go.

So we head into next week with Kara the dance instructor with a sense of humor, Whitney and Becca. I think we lose Becca next week and then he goes with Whitney in the final. But we shall see.